Modern Idiot

The Alchemy is such a misunderstood song. People don't give it an honest chance and brush it off as a love song about some boy. However, it's a fantastic hype song. It perfectly captures the feeling of returning to work after PTO while the office was struggling without me.

That said, I am baffled today because I found out people find it "confusing" or "convoluted". It's probably the simplest song on the album.

( The Alchemy via Youtube )

I got my wisdom teeth removed yesterday; they don't give you crazy drugs that make you loopy like they do back home lol, but he process was fine nonetheless. The dentist really struggled to pull my teeth out though! It was stressful and they both broke at the root. So he had to drill extra to get the little pieces out. It was scary!! But not painful thanks to the anesthetic. Then I got home and had the best sleep of my life. If only I could replicate the surgery every day and sleep like a baby...

There is some pain, but the wounds weren't big enough to even warrant stitches. So I think I'm healing A-OK~ I've been going to the dentist because I'm returning home before the end of the year. And I haven't done any proper body check-ups in years... so in that same vein, I have a doctor's appointment next week too just to make sure everything's normal. I'm NOT looking forward to it. Granted I wasn't looking forward to going to the dentist and that turned out all right.

On another note, I finally got my music library to where I want it to be~ So the current project I'm working on is a physical scrap book documenting my 30s. 

A woman doing something isn't necessarily feminism. Sometimes it can even be anti-feminist. Sabrina Carpenter choosing to engage in misogyny for the male gaze is still engaging in misogyny. It's still the male gaze. People can claim it's "satire" but, without an obvious wink to the audience, it's not satire--it's just a harmful message (a woman objectifying herself to a man) without the subversion (missing). Sabrina Carpenter's new album cover does not threaten or mock the status quo--it IS the status quo. 

Then some defenders are not suggesting it's satire. Instead, they are simply saying it's empowering: supposedly it's "obviously for women" and it's "obviously mocking men who think it's for them" But...it has no obvious tell that it's not for men, actually. It's just for men. This is proven by men posting about how much HOT they find the album cover without any discussion about feminism while the women fight about whether or not it's feminist.

That all being said, I'm not saying Sabrina can't do whatever she wants. I don't think she's a bad role model or a slut or anything. Admittedly I've never liked her much because she caters so much to the male gaze / straight fantasies (but I do find her hot, probably proving my point further--not liking her but liking the LOOK of her). But she can do whatever she likes--she's a pop star, not a political activist. I can see it's fun for her and other women! It's just not empowering. It's not feminism. If it is supposed to be satire, it's a failed experiment. And ultimately, it's so weird and a little disheartening that women need to do mental gymnastics to justify liking something "problematic" to themselves and others. 

Edit: After sleeping on it, I'm left to only assume that she isn't even trying to be satirical or feminist like her fans insist. It's an insult to her to suggest she missed the mark that badly. I think ultimately she's just being shocking because being horny is her "thing" and sex sells. It's certainly generated a lot of online discussion (even here on XHS). Her fans are perhaps just a little delulu and trying to cope with the fact their favorite isn't a Feminist Icon--it's not like she ever expressed an interest in being one. And that should be OK.

I'm enjoying some soju on my Friday evening~ For some reason, I like to play my SADDEST songs when I'm drinking. Leads to a lot of crying, but I can't help it!!!!!

It's been a couple weeks, but I'm still working on sorting through my music files daily. I'm made a lot of progress, but there are still so many artists and albums and songs to sort. My motivation to continue is dropping, so I'm lightening the load and sorting only an artist or two a day. I've finished all my favorite music first, and maybe some of the unsorted music won't even make the cut in the end. Do I really care if I'm missing Daft Punk from my library (I think no). Nonetheless, it's been really rewarding to do and I love the results so far. Comparing the music side-by-side satisfies the J in ENFJ.

In addition to this music project, I've been trying to improve my cursive handwriting. To do so, I've been writing lyrics to a different song everyday to practice, and it's coming along nicely. I just have to remember that I'm practicing, and I should take it slow and steady for better results. I often end up rushing through the second half of a song, then wonder why I'm not satisfied with the finished product. I'm glad I'm finally doing something like this! For years I've admired other people's nice handwriting and wishing I could write like them. Well it turns out that I can! 

I've also started a new book, A Ballad for Slayers and Monsters. It was described to me as "The Witcher but lesbian" and that's accurate so far--a little cliche with the gruff heroine with a tragic backstory slaying monsters and sleeping with barmaids in the first few chapters, but I can tell it's going to be fun. I really want to search about for art of the main characters, but I'll have to wait until I finish the book to avoid spoilers.

In less happy news, a cafe I really liked closed down. I went there this morning with the intention to relax, but discovered lights out and packing boxes all over the place. It was one I went to often, and wanted to write a review for it, but now I'll never get the chance. Goodbye, The Hood Cafe.

After last night's mishap and losing all my playlists, I did remake them. And they are better. But in the process, I ended up switching music apps completely. And now...I'm inspired to go through each and every file in my music library and clean up the meta data. I'm also going to delete doubles and condense albums that are split across folders (looking at you Bastille, who released twenty-some versions of your debut album). This is going to be a weeks-long project because I have over 2k songs. But once I'm done, I'll be much happier with the content and aesthetic (meta data affecting album art and all that) of my library. I have so much work to do lol. But it'll give me something to do with the weather getting hotter and hotter, making me want to go out less and less. Wish me luck!!

To clarify why this post is happening in the middle of the week, my "weekend" is in the middle of the week. Without getting too much into it, I do prefer this sort of schedule because whenever I go out and about, it's not crowded. I don't have to wait for tables at cafes or restaurants, traffic is minimal as long as I avoid rush hours--it's fantastic. Anyway, with that out of the way~

I spent the first day of my weekend cleaning the whole apartment and catching up on laundry. All the while, a Vanilla Coke is sitting in the fridge, waiting for me. The day was beautiful, the sky was blue, my windows were wide open. It took, like, five hours because I was definitely catching up on things that should've been done but weren't because of holiday and a busy personal schedule. Then when I was finally done... I sat down and did digital de-cluttering lol. Backing up music and photos and journal posts and the like. Then when that was finally done, I caught up on Colors TCG tasks and crashed.

This morning, I wrapped up laundry before leaving to hang out with my friend for the day. The weather wasn't as nice as it was yesterday, but it was cool and not raining or anything. So I ended up biking home from her place for about an hour and a half. Jumped in the shower. And NOW... I am finally enjoying that Vanilla Coke (a real treat, an import here that's more expensive than some alcohol)! Life is good even if you got to work for it sometimes. Lighting a candle and relaxing in your own home after a thorough clean is the best thing in the world. I'm so happy and feeling refreshed.

This is my first time doing the Friday Five! It reminds me of old deviantART memes where you'd tag all your friends to answer some questions in their journals. And I've been craving that old web community and feelings. So here I am.